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Seriously Folks

This was a very short Next-of-Kin Scam where the moron kept pressing me for a phone number. I gave him one from the beginning, but it just rings. I don’t think this one would have proceeded much further without telephone contact, so I just decided to abuse him while I had him on the hook. My emails are in blue, his/hers are in black, my comments in red. Happy reading!

Hello Dear,

Please pardon me for not having the liberty of knowing your mindset before writing you this letter without any formal introduction.

My name is Mr. Daniel Hagan. I am the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opposite the Grand Mosque Accra, Ghana.

I write this memo to solicit your partnership in claiming of US$15.million from an account at our Head Office. The aforementioned fund is my share percentage from a Gold Mining project that I helped financed. Furthermore, as a Manager in the bank, I am not allowed to be part of such a deal, because it is against my institution's professional practice policy. So I am compelled to ask that you stand on my behalf and receive this fund into any account that is solely controlled by you. We will share it 50% for me, 40 for you and 10% for any unforeseen expensive that might arise during the course of the transfer should there be any.

However, you are advised to contact me immediately you received this email if willing enough to work with me in this project.

Yours Truly,
Mr.Daniel Hagan

Sounds like an interesting proposition - what is required of me? I agree to the sharing percentage but the 10% for "unforeseen expensive" - I guess you mean expenses there - what could possibly cost $1.5 million dollars for a simple transfer? Yes, it is a good idea to earmark a set amount in case there are any expenses that come up - that's a great idea ensuring that there won't be any out-of-pocket cash layouts. But $1.5 million?

Let me know how you want to proceed,


Dear Thomas Payne,

Thanks very much for your response.
First step is that you have to send to me your complete address so that i will set up a backdated bank account in your name from my branch office here in Nima i would also try my best to make sure that the backdated bank account is transmitted to all the bank's computer data base including the head office in Ghana from where the funds will be transferred to your designated bank account.

After that i will send the deposit slip to you together with an application form so that you can fill up the form and then request for the transfer of the funds to your designated Bank account in your country.When the head office receive the form they will refer the file to my branch where i am the manager,and as you know,i will certify it good so that they will proceed with the transfer.

Do let me know if you understand this explanation.while i look forward to receiving the information which you may wish to set up the backdated bank account with.The contact includes:

1)Your Full Name.
5)tel/fax number.

I wish to retire as soon as this funds gets into your bank account because i already know that we here are not benefiting anything after retirement and this is the number one reason why I am taking this bold step so that i can come over there and plan for investment as i hope that you will help me out and direct me on a better investment over there. Hope to hear from you soon.

Daniel Hagan,

Here’s my info;

1)Your Full Name.- Thomas Payne
2)address – 1422 Lake Road, Medina Ohio 44256
3)age - 39
4)occupation – Yes
5)tel/fax number. – 333-666-9269



Dear Thomas,

How are you doing at the moment, I hope all is well with you? I have actually waited for your call and email ever since I sent you my last email but all to no avail, could you update me as soon as possible so that I will know and advice you accordingly on the next line of actions.

You may call me on +233 248 605 921 for discussion.

I am waiting,

Best regard

Daniel Hagan

I gave you my information – what else do you need? I also want to thank you for sending this short message 5 times. If I accidently delete one, I will still have four more of the same emails to read. Thank you.


Dear Thomas Payne,
I thank you for your quick response to my email of today, as a matter of fact I needed to speak to you on the phone in-order to have heart-heart discussion before I can go ahead to change the deposit status in your name, I also want to be on a safe side in the sense that I would not want to lose my share of the Fund after transfer.
It Is in this vain that I advise you to either call me on +233 248 605 921 immediately or you give me a valid phone number so that I can call you for us to talk over this matters arising, as you aware we are talking of a huge sum of money which is capable enough to change one’s life status financially.

I also decided to employ the service of an attorney who drafts a letter of partnership agreement between you and me for the purpose of legal protection during and after the completion of this transaction.
I will proceed further as soon as we have a comprehensive discussion today.
I shall be waiting for your response.

Best regards Daniel Hagan.

I gave you a valid phone number – that is my home number and I get home at about 7:00pm EST on weeknights from work. Tonight I will get home later though.

Call me tomorrow after 7:00pm – I cannot be reached while I am at work.


Dear Thomas Payne,

The problem is that I do not know the time diferents between us which makes it dificult to know when is 7 pm est, but if I can call you on your cell phone then it will be better meanwhile i have tried to call you many times today without any success.

Now is 4:47 pm on monday, you may now use my time to make your calculations as to when I should call you.You can as well call me to let me know your time so that I

I am waiting

As I said in my last email – I am at work right now, I will not get home until late tonight. I don’t have a cell phone. The phone number shouldn’t be busy now; it should just ring, because when I am at work, there is no one at my house. Unfortunately, I do not have a long-distance carrier on my home phone so I cannot call you. If it is now 4:47pm for you that we have a 4-hour time difference because it is 12:47pm here.


Is it necessary to send the same email 6 times?

Okay I will try to call you at 12 midnight today my time, I believe by then you should be at home, that will be your 8 pm.

I expect to speaking with you soon.

Best regard

Daniel Hagan

Did he call? Who knows – the number I gave him just rings and rings and rings…

Dear Thomas Payne
Thanks very much for your email.However,I have succeeded in setting up the back date of the account status today in your name. Your name and information has been inserted as the depositor of the fund and our head office has recognized it. I therefore advise you to fill up your banking information in the drafted application form as attached to you where you want our bank head office to wire the fund . You are advised to Use the provided email of the bank in the application to send your details to the bank immediately. I am 100% confidence that with your maximum co-operation, we shall complete this deal within 7 working days and i will be in your country as soon as the transfer is made for the sharing and investment of my own share under your supervision.My most happiness is that you are to be trusted.

Please do fill and send the application with your correct information to the bank and try as much as you can to call Hj Razali Mohamad the director of our bank head office to enable him know how serious and urgent this implies.

Always update me as you proceed with the bank head office and more important thing i would like to advise you is if there's any questionnaire or enquirers that the bank head office need, do not hesitate to inform me first before given answer to avoid mistake.

I look forward to have a positive response from you when you contact the bank.

Thanks and remain blessed.
Regards. Mr.Fred Abeku
( Call me on receipt of this email)
+233 248 605 921

Thanks and remain blessed.
Daniel Hagan

Why haven’t I heard from you?


Dear Thomas Payne,

I realized you are not serious that was I kept silence since few days, I sent a drafted letter of application requesting to send it my Bank's head office for the transfer process, I waited and I did not hear from you, so what should I do in such circumstance? If you really want to work with me, then you should call me so that we can discuss on the phone, My Number is +233 248 605 921, Once we can talk then I will give you more information.


Daniel Hagan

What do you mean you realized I was not serious? What kind of inane comment is that, you moron. I sent the form as I told you I did! Did you not receive my email? I have been sitting here waiting for either you or the Bank to respond to my email and heard nothing at all. And you have the nerve to say “I’m not serious?” You have to stop picking your butt and start reading your emails, you incompetent buffoon. Calling someone unserious is about the worst thing you could say to a proud American.


Dear Thomsa Payne,

I honestly did not receive any form from you and I have verified through the head office, they also did not receive any form from you too maybe you have to resend it again because it could not come through but that does mean you should insult me.

I am waiting because time is of the essence,



I won’t insult you when you have earned the right not to be insulted. You’ve ignored my repeated request to stop sending the same email 6 times, you keep telling me to call you when I tell you I don’t have a long-distance carrier, and most of the mindless dribble that comes from your mouth doesn’t make one bit of sense. Did the towel-head at the bank receive my application yet? I resent it to him again. On the questions I couldn’t answer on the application, I just made something up because I am assuming he is a moron too. Let me know if you hear from him. How’s that for being serious?


Can you believe that was it? Was it something I said or maybe the way I said it? At least he knows I’m not unserious…

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