Truly Stupid Hall-Of-Fame

Captain America

I had to put this one first, because of how stupid it is...
• I received an email from the "FBI" with a bunch of FBI logos (stolen from Google) on it.
• "...I am Agent Mr. Paul Emegini...blah, blah, blah."
• He included this "FBI ID" in the email, verifying that he was authentic - I shit you not!
• It was smaller than my post here, but this moron didn't notice that the picture was Captain America, or that it actually said Captain America on it...
• This is also the same genius who spells it "Fediralberue of Investigation" in his email Header.
• Which also means that it is the same moron who used the "FBI Logo" down further on this page - yes, the one that says "Fossil Bureau Of Investigation" from the Dallas Palentological Society.
• It boggles the mind that people can actually fall victim to these morons, doesn't it?

King of Fools

I could dedicate a whole page to the stupidity of Smith Hooks...
• Besides his silly looking ID (discussed on the Trophy Page)
• I baited him 3 different times under different personas...
• He begged me to teach him how to calculate monthly payments on loans correctly (compound interest)
• He told my one persona, Debbie the Porn Star, that he loved her and wanted to marry her...
• He put a voodoo curse on me for fucking with him Chat Log
• He is a white, Spanish Loan Officer, but in a chat log, he tells me to kiss his black ass...
• He is still active on Yahoo and Hotmail - email him to fuck with him...
  smithlenders@hotmail.com
  smith.hooks23@yahoo.com
  smith.hooks23 - Yahoo Chat ID

Queen of Hearts

I could dedicate two pages to the stupidity of Annie...
• This was a long bait with different twists and turns - she was a American citizen stranded in London, where she was trying to retrieve millions left by her father.
• She told me she loved me in the second email.
• After she quoted God and religion a lot, I told her it wouldn't work out because I was an Atheist - she said she would convert to my beliefs...(obviously, she didn't know what Atheism was!)
• She emailed me from 5 different email accounts.
• She had 3 different names (Annie Fall, Annie Carring, Annie Cares)
• When I asked about the existence of a certain travel agency, she "explained" that they don't have a website because then they would be "pressured" to accept credit cards which they didn't do - just Western Union.
• After the bait ended, I re-baited her with hilarious results - What's in a Name?

Prince of Promises

I just wanted an ID from this idiot...
• I asked early on for an ID and Bank Statement for the funds, and he said he would give them to me.
• He then told me his lawyer "adviced" him not to send them for "security reasons", in which I said nevermind, deal is off.
• He then promised me that he would get them to me on Friday.
• On Saturday, I emailed him again and said nevermind. He emailed back and said that the bank was holding it up and I would get it the first of the week.
• He then said I would have to pay the fees first ($1900.00), and then I would get the proof.
• I said nevermind (with lots of insults), and he said he would get me them at the end of the week.
• He then told me that banks won't send Statements by mail without insurance, that I would have to pay $300.00. I said nevermind.
• He then wanted me to send $80.00 to someone in Florida for the ID and Bank Statement. I finally gave him a deadline of the next Tuesday.
• This is the Chat Log of the day after the deadline - Chat Log

Princess Die

This is new, but her line in a classic...
• This bait just started, but already she is scrambling to explain her stupidity!
• It is your typical Rich Orphan Scam, where the evil Uncle poisoned the rich father and is after the inheritance.
• Miss Sophia Ahmed - "My name is Miss sophia ahmed,22 years old and the only daughter of my late parents Mr.and Mrs ahmed. It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad on 6th.November 2006.Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time, but God knows the truth! Though I have not meet with you before but I believe, one has to risk confiding in succeed sometimes in life. There is this huge amount of (six million Eight hundred thousand) U.S dollars ($6.8m) which my late Father Mr.ahmed. Michael.kept for me in Finacial Security Company here in Abidjan. My father told me that I should not let any of our relations to know about this because he was kiled by them and if they know about it, that they will do nothing but to kill me in other to take hold of every thing..."
• My immediate response was (of course), "How was your father able to tell you that he was killed by your Uncle? Is he a ghost? A Zombie? A wolfman?"

Money by the Pound!

• The main thing that attracted me to this scammer was the amount of money involved. This poor, dying man wants to invest $252,000,000.00 with me!
• It seems he heard about my financial expertise somehow (my signature line in my return email to him says "Accountant".
• He is extremely experienced in moving large amounts of money, and it has been his experience that Diplomatic Courier is the easier way (he he!).
• This is to bypass the multitude of forms, licenses, certificates, permits, insurance, etc. that he would need doing a simple wire transfer.
• Therefore he lodges the money in a "security company", which I purposely mistake as a Securities (Brokerage) Company.
• After going around in circles about the transfer - he insists that the money will be transferred by Diplomatic Courier - this is the best way...
• The Truly Stupid part in this whole scenario is that he is too stupid to realize that $252,000,000.00 in American currency ($100 bills) would weigh 5540 pounds and fit onto three full-size pallets...
• This dipshit thinks that the courier is going to waltz through customs with an attache case full of cash...

Captain, My Captain!

This is also another new bait, but the stupidity continues...
• In the first stages of this scambait, they directed me to a "bank" website where I would have to set up an account to transfer the money.
• I went to the website, and it wasn't horribly done like most fake bank sites, but a number of the links didn't work and had a few misspellings...
• I questioned them about the mistakes and told them I had a problem logging in - I ended up emailing the REAL Capital One Bank, as well as them.
• He freaked that I contacted Capital One directly, and he stopped emailing me.
• I revived the bait a few weeks later, and he wants me to send $1550 by Western Union to someone in Atlanta (in which the bank address "magically" changed to).
• I told him I would send a Certified Check from my bank...
• This was his response, "I receive your email and you to understand that we the Capital One Bank Towers cannot take checks because of what are going on in the world now please you are advice cash the check and make the payment VIA Western Union Money Transfer to our correspondence office in Atlanta Georgia..."
• A bank that does not take checks?

Chief Idiot of the Supreme Court

This has become one of my favorites...
• If you read the scambait (And Justice For All...), you will see why this buttmunch deserves a special place on this list of losers.
• This idiot, tries to take over a dead bait I had with Sliverline Marvin - who I was sick of and blew off.
• Then him and Dr. Enaroh Steven try to hook me saying that Sliverline dies and leaves me the inheritance (after I told her to raise the money for the fees by sucking cock in the refugee camp...).
• Of course there are "modalities" - bank transfers, document fees, etc., etc.
• To goad me into action, the idiot George tries to tell me, Thomas Payne, that a person named Thomas Payne Hood Karl is the real inheritor (so I better hurry...).
• At that point, I accuse him of double-dealing and trying to scam me - and the insults ensue!
• The Doctor is on the sidelines while me and the moron George go back and forth.
• He pretends he's a Chief Justice, then admits he is a thief, thens pretends he's a Chief Justice again - duh!
• I finally let him off the hook showing him the links to my website - how stupid do you have to be to try to revive a scam that I obviously was on to?

Fediral Berue of Investigations

• Yes, that is how this buttmunch spelled out the FBI in his emails to me!
• He also loaded his emails with pictures taken from Google Images to make his email seem more authentic - yes, I know this because the moron copy and pasted the pics, so the links where he took them from were also copied.
• So, if you click on any of the images in his emails, they take you back to where he stole them from - yes, I'm sure the real FBI gets its FBI Logo from Google to include in their emails...
• Along with all of the mispellings, bad grammar, overload of linked-photos, the funniest thing this moron did was to steal the wrong FBI Logo - he stole it from the "Fossil Bureau of Investigation"! He just saw "FBI" real big and decided to include it in his email to make it look official...

Godfather Of Stupidity

This moron made the Hall-Of-Fame after just 2 emails...
• In the first email, he says he leaving for America in a few days, with his money (millions), for me to help him to invest in businesses in my country.
• After I express interest, the pre-written script comes out in a long email that totally contradicts his first email.
• Legislation is enacted, so as a foreign official, he is forbidden to invest in foreign countries or even holding a foreign bank account, as well as travelling to a foreign country. He will send his assistant to America to shore up the details, once we get the money transferred to my account, etc., etc.
• The key (the Truly Stupid part) is that his two emails are 54 minutes apart...
• So basically, he is ready to leave to invest in America, but before his next email, his government enacts the legislation that prevents him from doing so.
• Of course I quiz him about this, and copy his emails to him in case he forgot...
• His response (explanation) of this is that he lied in his first email to discourage scammers, spam, and hoaxes.
• Good explanation? This bait may have some real potential if I can keep from insulting him!

Mother Inferior

Do these idiots read over what they write???
• This is a typical Dying Philanthropist Scam - Rich woman on her death bed wants to give me millions for charity...
• Instead of simply wiring me the money (which would be the logical thing to do) - her plan involves changes of ownership forms, lawyers, affidavirs, and of course, fees - the usual routine!
• This moron jumps the gun a little in her early emails. Her millions are at a bank and she wants me to be the beneficiary because she only has 2 months to live (Standard Scammer Operating Procedure). What isn't standard is that she says,"The Management of the Bank wrote me and said if there isn't a legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive the funds, then her money will be confiscated".
• Does this sound reasonable? She has millions in the bank and out of the blue, the bank demands a beneficiary for it, while she is still alive!!!!
• According to "her", banks can demand for beneficiaries at random, and confiscate money whenever their demands are not met.

Nuts of the Round Table

This idiot obviously does not work for the Census Department!
• This is a typical Lottery Scam where they send out the BS Form Letter...
• This one is special because along with all of the normal bullshit about "my email address being randomly selected" and "counting myself extremely lucky" and "not telling anyone so there will be no double-claiming" - this lottery agency, which is named the Camelot International Lottery, informs me that my email was drawn out of a pool of 300 Billion email addresses from businesses and individuals from around the world. Wow, what are the odds of that happening???
• I guess someone should inform this butt-munch that there are only 6 Billion people on Earth, and a lot less companies than that (obviously, there can't be more businesses than people - who would work there???)
• This was my actual response - "Do you mean I really won??? Wow, that is terrific! And my name was chosen out of 300 billion names in the drawing – that sure is lucky on my part. I wasn’t aware that there was 300 billion company names and people on Earth. I must be lucky! I can’t wait to tell all of my family and friends about this – they will be so excited for me! Thomas Payne
• These morons have continued this bait with the usual "modalities", and I'm sure it will get funnier as we go on! I have to contact the bank where the money is "lodged", and I'm sure that there will be alot of fees involved! I can't wait!

The Power of Numbskull

This idiot is no He-Man; more like a She-Male...
• This is a Next-of-Kin Scam where they don't tell you the client's last name until they find out yours, and then give the client the same last name as you, therefore that is how they found you and why they need you.
• I like to frustrate the scammer (Kelvin Grant) by using an email account that doesn't reveal my last name (Thomas.s@xxxxxx.com), then to press the scammer as to what the dead client's name is.
• After 4 or 5 emails back and forth, with the idiot getting frustrated, he then sends me the form letter to send to the lawyer (Form Letter #1). He thinks my last name is Simmons and I have no idea where he got that from. I think he is getting his scams mixed up!
• Of course, I ask why he thinks my last name is Simmons, that I never told him that. He apologizes profusely for the mixup and says that the names are close enough to work (he may just think he spelled "Simmons" wrong). I ask him what is similar about my last name and Simmons.
• After 2 or 3 more emails, he finally demands my last name - at this point, I figure what can it hurt because he already told me his dead client's last name, so I tell him my name is Thomas S. Payne. I say, "So you can see, Payne is nothing like Simmons, so I don't see how I can pose as the next of kin."
• This is the Beautiful Part - he then sends me Form Letter #2 to send to the lawyer. He changes the dead client's name to match mine!
• This was my reply - "Are you stupid? How can you change your client's name? All his records, the bank account, everything will be in his real name - not the name you just made up, you freaking moron!"
• He wrote back that he knew what he was doing and not to insult him. I replied, "Either you are the dumbest scammer on Earth, or if this is real, you are the dumbest banker on Earth! Which is it?"

Moron, Extraordinaire!!!!

This is one of the Dumbest Criminals On Earth!
• Typical Loan Scam - low interest, no credit checks, just pay the fees...
• I have others going on right now, so I fuck with him, and end up asking if he is a scam...
• He profusely denies it (of course), and sends me an email with a picture in it (see left)
• All his emails were in this format (gray/blue background), but the picture just started showing up in his last few emails...
• So I ask him about the picture at the bottom of his emails - you can see in the screenshot to the left, that he goes on to say that he is third from the left and his secretary is the woman, etc.
• The Truly Stupid part of this is that when he copied and stole this picture from the internet, he also copied the hyperlink to the website where he stole it from. When I clicked on the picture in his email, it took me to a News Service/Website where it describes the picture and names everyone in it!
• His name is Harsh Roontga, from APNA Loan Firm (London) and the article for the picture says that the Union Bank of California is donating money to Japantown Foundation.
• So of course I point this out to him and copy the article for him. He admits that Harsh Roontga is not in the picture that he is Harsh's assistant, and he is the one in the picture (taking a name from the article). Of course, I ask why does the caption say it is Union Bank and not APNA Loan Firm and he says his friend asked him to do this favor to promote his bank. HUH????
• This Moron is too stupid to live...

Kentucky Fried Loser

• Background - lived in Kentucky her whole life (28 yrs), except for going to College in Nigeria. Her mom is Nigerian, dad is American. She works at a grocery store, but gets fired for being in the hospital. She is dumb as a rock...
• This whore pisses me off because she logs out of chat when she can't answer a question or gets confused. First time she did this was because she was "at work" and got busy. I asked her how she was able to use a computer while being a clerk at a grocery store and she said she was at the reception desk (huh???). A reception desk at a grocery store?
• When she tells me her mother is Nigerian, I start insulting her and her mother (very graphic), telling her that she is a disease, that she disgusts me, all africans are evil, that I wanted her dead, that we should nuke africa and kill them all, etc. - she closes the chat session later saying "I love you".
• I also tell her to cut her mother's throat, in which she says 'that's abusive', but later says "I love you".
• She likes to go to Kuramo Beach in Kentucky for fun (Kuramo Beach is in Nigeria, of course...). I asked her if Kuramo Beach was on a lake in Kentucky, and she asked me how I knew that - I replied,"Because the ocean doesn't border Kentucky...".
• I live in Ohio, her in Kentucky - I ask her what time it is there and it takes her 5 minutes to answer (tries to find it on the internet). She tells me an hour different from my time. I ask why they are different (same time zone) and she replies. "How do I know, I am not God".
• She has no idea where Ohio is because "...she has never been there...", even though she has lived in Kentucky all her life.
• Read the entire Chat Log - Click Here!

Connoisseur of Concrete!

I thought these idiots couldn't get any dumber...
• I have been getting alot of loan scams lately (probably by the same person or at least they put me on a list...).
• When one fails, another "Loan Company" emails me almost instantly - not to "undisclosed recipients", but to my actual email address, saying they "heard" I was in need of a loan...
• Thomas Greg, from Financial Home Loans contacts me right after I finished a loan scam, where I "discovered" that they were not a legitimate loan company.
• I assume it is the same person with a new persona, so I tell him that before we begin, I need proof that he is a real and legitimate company because I just dealt with someone who turned out to be a hoax or scam.
• He sends me a Yahoo email address of one of his supposed customers who will verify that he is a "real" company.
• I ask him how is contacting someone I don't know via email proof that he is real? I tell him I want CONCRETE PROOF of his legitimacy.
• This is the great part - he then sends me the details of a CONCRETE COMPANY in Milford Maine to prove he is real!!!
• He obviously confused CONCRETE PROOF with proof from a CONCRETE COMPANY!

The Oil Baron

Oh my God is this one dumb...
• Scammer #1 emails with a deal to become an Oil Contractor where I'll make up to $72 million a year.
• Yusufu Omar (Scammer #1) starts his modalities, forms, lawyers, 50/50 split, etc.
• I tell him nevermind after a few emails, saying it sounds too complicated...
• For a few emails, he tries to convince me to continue...I hold my ground and say no!
• The next day, I receive an email from Maria Aida - it seems her husband died leaving millions that she wants me to help procure...
• I never email her back, but I see her profile online (Yahoo Chat), so I try chatting her up...
• I miss her a few times, but she sends me offline messages...
• I finally catch her online and chat with her!
• Unfortunately, this person is a complete idiot and starts babbling about oil contracts (like Yusufu) when she is supposed to be a rich cocoa widow. When he realizes the mistake, he tries to cover it with lies - unfortunately, they are within 10 seconds of each other!
  
  Read this bait in its entirety Oil And Cocoa Don't Mix

Brilliance in Banking!

• The International Remittance Director of First Bank of Nigeria, Rev. John Aboh, wants help claiming money from a dormant account (you know the routine).
• I am getting tired of this idiot, so I start asking a bunch of stupid questions, just dragging it out longer - figuring he will just dump me.
• All of his emails contain a header for First Bank of Nigeria, with the correct address, website, etc., just with a bogus phone number and email address (First Bank is a real bank).
• I tell him I contacted First Bank by phone and they told me that there was no one named Rev. John Aboh who worked there. He freaks because he doesn't get the call, so he assumes that I am talking to another scammer, when I got the number from the real website.
• He tells me that the number I gave him is a scammer, don't talk to them anymore, etc., etc., and asks where I got that number from.
• Of course I ask how is a scammer telephone number is published on their official website. He says that the website was hacked and the scammer number was put on there.
• Over a week passes with us going back and forth about this, and I ask him about the phone number on the website. You see, it is still there! He is an executive at the bank and learns that a scammer hacked his website and published their number on there, and a week later the "scammer number" is still there! He explains that the Web Development Team is working on it but it takes time...
• As funny as this is, it gets better. he decides to go in a different direction. Read the exchange between us to the left!
  
  The main fault with this is that I was needed to re-activate the account to transfer the money, but it seems he has no trouble transferring it to the "new" bank when he gets his transfer!

Bah to Inflation...Banks are FREE!

• Degan Alain contacts me with an interesting proposition - he wants me to be the "Front Man" in the purchase of a bank in Benin.
• It seems he wants to hide the true ownership of the bank because for some reason his company is banned from owning this bank (Bank of Africa).
• I go through the usual rountines - asking for complex Financial Statements and asking a multitude of questions - since this is a real bank, he downloads the actual statements from the bank's website to send to me (no fun...).
• He puts me in touch with the lawyer - Kenneth Adams, who is supposed to walk me through the transaction. After dozens of emails, he springs the fees on me - $2,000 for his fee and $29,000 for the bank transfer paperwork - once I pay this I will own the bank!!!
• Anyone see the problem here? He didn't - it seems he forgot to include the actual sale price of the bank...
• Of course I have to ask about this...
• He tells me that after I pay the fee, I am allowed to run the bank as my own for one year to evaluate it's performance, and then after one year, I can pay for the bank if I am satisfied...(wait, it gets better!).
• He then tells me that after the year has elasped, that I can use the money from the vault to purchase the bank. Yes, you heard it right - he tells me that I can buy the bank with the bank's own money!!!
  
  This bait gets way better because we end up firing the idiot lawyer and I start the whole process over with a business broker. Then, out of the blue, the lawyer contacts me again - it seems that he found this website and threatens to sue me for libel. After that, the gloves come off! Read the bait in its entirety but be careful, it gets pretty graphic!
  
  Banks For Free - Completed Scambait!!!
  
  Or is it? I'm not done with this idiot yet...

Mystery Shopper!

How does this fool make money?
• Mystery Shopper scams have been around for a while - it is a real job but you don't have to fill out any forms, give any identification, or pay taxes.
• You are sent a fake check, usually anywhere from $2000.00 to $4000.00 (check cannot be too big because your bank will question it and you have to have enough in your account to cover it or the bank won't cash it til it clears...).
• The idea is that you cash the check at your bank, shop with the money, to report on satisfaction, customer service, etc.
• You keep the products and 10% of the money and the rest is forwarded thru Western Union back to them.
• You see, Western Union is always one of your "Shopper" assignments and that's how they get the money - you have to report on their service, professionalism, etc. - meanwhile, the check bounces at the bank and your are responsible for it.
• The Truly Stupid part about this last fool that emailed me was that along with getting a 10% cut from the check, I also get paid $10,000.00/month for my services. Yes, this fool told me that! I get 10% of the $2000.00 checks, get to keep the merchandise I buy, and I get paid $10,000.00/month and all I have to do is forward the change (approx. $1600.00) back to them).

An Ode To Debbie Dawson

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