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The Bungler

I was contacted by the Director of the FBI to tell me that I had to pay for a DIST (Diplomatic Seat Of Transfer) for some fund that was being transferred to me that I knew nothing about. This brain-dead fool was not to be discouraged easily Ė calling my local FBI Office, tracing his IP to Ghana, and insulting him did no good. These are usually short baits Ė you either shake in your shoes and comply or you donít. But I seemed to have bungled all of his instructions, which kept this going a bit longer than usual. My emails are in blue, his/hers are in black, my comments in red. Happy reading!


ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION(FBI)
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

Attention: James Cagney

This is an official advice from the FBI, foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. (FRTD), it has come to our notice that the (Bank of Ghana) and (Western Union Money Transfer) has released your part of inheritance/Winning funds of USd$8.750,000.00 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary.

The Western Union Money Transfer knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from Africa to your account, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment S.T.D.P to pay this fund through wire transfer. They are still waiting for final confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, to enable them crediting into your account accordingly. secret diplomatic transfer payment are normally funds related to drug/terrorist and money laundry system of payment, why must your payment be made in such secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate and not related to drug/terrorist and money laundry, why can't the bank in Africa via Europe effect direct transfer into your account than secret diplomatic payment transfer.

Due to the increased difficulties and unnecessary scrutiny by the American authorities when funds come from through such payment process from Europe, Africa and middle east, based on the records we had in the past always identified such method of payment as drug/ terrorist/money laundry funds, to avoid problem with the us government as soon as these funds reflect in your account in the U.S.A, it is our mandatory obligations to ascertain the documentation and certification of this funds before the final crediting into your account.

We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and held in our custody pending when you were able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 3 days from the united nation international fund monitory unit (UNIFMU) that authorize the transfer and certified that the funds originated from Africa and middle east is free from terrorist/drug and money laundry or we shall confiscate the payment. We will allow the funds to be release into your account immediately you make provision the required above document.

You will be directed where and how to get the document if it is not in your possession.

We are using this opportunity to advice you to stop further dealings with any person in Africa except we advice you otherwise.

Hoping to hear from you urgently.

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


I read your email and I will contact you to prove that this isnít related to drugs or terrorism. There is a local FBI Office in Akron, Ohio Ė I will present them with all of the information about this that I possess Ė I gather that this will be sufficient proof, right?

James

Do you know that you spelled ďinvestigationsĒ wrong in your AOL Email address? Might want to fix that Ė makes you look incredibly stupid and incompetent.


Kind Attention: James Cagney

We are in receipt of your email in regards to your fund that is held with us worth $8.750, 000.00 U.S Dollars, what you have to do to receive your funds and a certified terrorist free certificate is for you to secure the required Immunity Seal of Transfer. The said document is to be secured from FBI Unit Atlanta Georgia of the United State of America.

You can go ahead and contact your local FBI in Akron Ohio and get back to us after your confirmation for us to give you information on how to secure the above mentioned document for the release of your funds.

We are using this opportunity to advice you to stop further dealings with any person in Africa except we advice you otherwise, meanwhile you are required to forward to us your banking details where you will want your funds to be transferred to as soon as your Immunity Seal of Transfer is secured from Atlanta Georgia

Hoping to hear from you urgently.

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


I contacted the FBI Office in Akron, Ohio and they said it sounds like you are a 419 Scam. They said no FBI Office uses American Online Email and that there is no such thing as an Immunity Seal of Transfer.

James

This should be the end, right?


Attention: James Cagney

Your massage has been received by us; Iím not surprised by the response you got from our local office at Akron Ohio as I already know that that was the response you will get because our entire local office has been instructed to tell any unknown person that call in respect of internet business that he or she is dealing with a scammer so as to be careful with what he or she is doing.

Meanwhile it is only our headquarter here in Washington that is authorize to handle this transaction that is why you where told by our local office that there is nothing like Immunity Seal of Transfer because they do not know about it.

We are here to serve and protect our citizen and to see that you recover your fund without further delay,

We are waiting to here from you in order to advice you on how to secure the Immunity Seal of Transfer. For the immediate release of your funds.

Hoping to hear from you urgently

Faithfully Yours

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


So should I call the FBI Office in Washington DC?

James


yes you can go ahead and call our office here in Washington

He is assuming that I will call the cell phone number he gave me...


Okay, thank you. Is there any reason why your emails are coming from Ghana?

James


Kind Attention: James Cagney

We are in receipt of your email in regards to your fund that is held with us worth $8.750,000.00 U.S Dollars, what you have to do to receive your funds and a certified terrorist free certificate is for you to secure the required Immunity Seal of Transfer. The said document will cost you the sum of $1,920 US Dollars; you are to secure it from the FBI Unit of the United State Of America in Atlanta Georgia.

Be advised to send the fee to the FBI Agent in charge of that in Atlanta Georgia via western union money transfer for convenience through his under noted information:
NAME: JAMES PETERS
0AADDRESS: ATLANTA GEORGIA
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: $1,920 DOLLARS

As soon as you make the payment do provide us with the MTCN Number so that we forward it to the FBI Agent in Atlanta for him to secure the document on your behalf and forward it to the FBI headquarters here so that we can instruct the Bank of America to release your funds to you within 48 hours.

We are using this opportunity to advice you to stop further dealings with any person in Africa except we advice you otherwise, meanwhile you are required to forward to us your banking details where you will want your funds to be transferred to as soon as your Immunity Seal of Transfer is secured from Atlanta Georgia

Hoping to hear from you urgently.

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


I called the FBI Office in Atlanta, Georgia to get the payee information for the check and they said that this was not authentic. What is the meaning of all of this??? They requested all of my emails from you as well as your contact information and of James Peters. I want to know what is happening here.

James

This should scare him Ė the real FBI is now after James Peters in Atlanta.


Attention: James Cagney

It is unfortunate that you do not know whom you are dealing with and what you are doing, if you really know that you are dealing with the FBI I believe you must have stop this childish play

We contacted you after our investigations through which we find out that your transaction is real, but the only way we can achieve success at the end is for you to work with us and follow our directives as we are in position to see that your fund is release to you with out any problem.

This law is inline with the Terrorism Control Act that was established since after September 11th attack on America.

I also want you to understand that calling whom soever you said you called will never help you in any way as this transaction is not make public to entire FBI agent in United State except the officers in charge of documentations and procurements.

For your own good I will advice you to stop messing around with this transaction until your Immunity Seal of Transfer is secure and your funds release to you.

For us to proceed further with you, you have to send the required fee through western union money transfer to JAMES PETERS in Atlanta Georgia who is in charge of the procurement and documentation with the information provided to you.

This might be my last mail to you if you do not follow our guide line since we can do nothing unless you are ready to work with our instructions

Thanks for your kind understanding.

Hoping to hear from you urgently.

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


This is all very confusing Ė when I call the FBI they tell you are lying to me and when I talk to you, you say that they are lying. Who am I supposed to believe?

James


Attention: James Cagney

Iím afraid I have to stop communicating with you because I can understand that you are confuse, until you are through with your own investigations and when you are through and convince that we are here to assist you can come back to us for the release of your funds

Thanks

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


I donít understand what you mean. I tried to work this out I just keep getting told different things by different people. What do I have to do?

James


Kind Attention: James Cagney

I will advice you to stop confusing your self by telling me you called Tom and Dick who are telling you different things, we contacted you first with the instruction on what to do for your funds to be release to you but you refused to follow my directives, you can call the FBI local agents from now till next year you will still get the same response you have been getting from them because they are all working in accordance to the instructions given to them.

The only way out is for you to send the fee to the FBI agent in Atlanta Georgia in charge of documentation for him to secure your Immunity Seal of Transfer as the said document is the only thing you need for us to instruct the Bank of America to release your funds

Iím giving you the information again

Be advised to send the fee to the FBI Agent in charge of that in Atlanta Georgia via western union money transfer for convenience through his under noted information:
NAME: JAMES PETERS
0AADDRESS: ATLANTA GEORGIA
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: $1,920 DOLLARS

As soon as you make the payment do provide us with the transfer details so that we forward it to the FBI Agent in Atlanta for him to secure the document on your behalf and forward it to the FBI headquarters here so that we can instruct the Bank of America to release your funds to you within 48 hours.

you are required to forward to us your banking details where you will want your funds to be transferred to as soon as your Immunity Seal of Transfer is secured from Atlanta Georgia

Please if you are not ready to follow my directives I will advice you to stop contacting me as you know that Iím a very busy man, I need my time to care of other things here in my office

Thanks for your kind understanding.

Faithfully Yours,

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE


The FBI Agent I spoke with at my local FBI Office just called and had me give him all of the emails between us, as well as James Peters name and location in Atlanta, Georgia. They would not tell me why. Do you know anything about this?

James


I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO ANSWER YOU QUESTIONS AM A BUSY MAN. YOU HAVE THE INSTRUCTIONS TO PAY THE FEE IF YOU DONíT COMPLY WITH THIS HONORABLE OFFICE IW ILL TURN THIS MATTER OVE4R TO CRRIMINAL INVESTIONGATIONS UNITS.


Calm down Bobby;

I am just trying to be clear on everything so I donít make any mistakes. I wouldnít want to send the money to Ghana or some rotten cesspool of a country like that. I will make the proper arrangements to pay this fee to your honorable office, okay Chinaman? Donít go getting your panties in a bunch. I will contact you when the money has been sent.

James


THIS IS NO JOKING MANNER AND DO NOT TRY TO INSULT THE INTEGRETY OF THIS OFFICE OR YOU WILL FACE CRMINAL PERSECUTION. SEND US THE TRANSFER INFORMATIONS AT ONCE

MTCN
QUESTION
ANSWER


What is all this silliness about? I sent a check through certified, overnight mail. You should have the money by tomorrow. Will you be mailing the DIST to me?

James


I CAN SEE THAT YOU A UNSERIOUS PERSON AND THAT WE WILL USE THE FULCRUM OF THE LAW TO MAKE SO YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. YOU ARE TOLD BY THIS OFFICE TO SEND THE MONEY THRUOGH WESTERN UNION BCOS THAT IS HOW WE DO BUSINESS AT THIS OFFICE. YOU MUST RECALL THE CHECK AND SENT THE MONEY THRUOGHT OUT COLLECTION AGENT IN ALTANTA.

NAME: JAMES PETERS
0AADDRESS: ATLANTA GEORGIA
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST
AMOUNT TO BE SENT: $1,920 DOLLARS


I called the Atlanta office to see if they received my check so they could send it back and they said they received it, but did not know what it was for. After I explained everything, they said that James Peters has a warrant for his arrest and not to send any money to anyone. I spoke with Agent Patrick Swayze and he said that he would take care of everything.

James


Unfortunately, the FBIís AOL Email account was shut down. Serves the FBI right for using AOL!


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